7/20/2006
i hate my freakinn life. hate hate hate! my depression is starting to ruin my life.. not dat my life was really really nice or anything.. it's just.. bearable.. but now? hah! 3 words.. SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS.

mrs LSC took my phone n threw it 2 times! FUCK! i don care! i'll say it!! FUCK! arg!! i wanna kill tt woman! anyhow accuse ppl..pick on ppl n now throw ppl's phone!!! freak tt fugly ass bitch!! i wanna throw bowling balls tt weigh 30kg!! its heavy but it'll b my anger tt gives me strength to throw em at her!! so i was angry.. but it's depression tts taking over now.. i do get over setbacks pretty fast.. but this one ain't gonna let me go.. nothing seems to excite me anymore.. i wan hin wen n navin to cry with.. n cherilyn too i guess. most of u ppl wont noe y i'm depressed.. i cant remember if i posted the reason y in my last post at all.. who cares anyway???

i hate today..i hate music lesson. music turned to be attire checking. damn she found out tt i used string!! n made me take it off n tuck in my shirt in my skirt. so uncomfortable n my shirt was tucked in so high!! n i had to do it infront of my whole class. depressed.

i can't explain y i feel depressed. many of u wont ever noe.. n i dont care either. sch? i won't bother saying anything more.. this whole post's a total drag. a complete drag. i wish i had u by my side to take me thru... too bad u were just using me all along to get wat u want.. i'd do so many things i could for u..if u just asked me, things would've been different. right now, i just wanna b left alone.. to die. don't try to act like u care wen u really don't.. ur sugar coated words won't affect me anymore.. where were u wen my world is n was crashing down? even now.. u're no where to be found. it ain't only to me too.. wat abt all those girls n their feelings u played with? don't u feel guilty? my best fren got caught up in ur vaccuum.. only to turn on me becos of u. i, too was sucked up in ur vaccum,n i was melted by the way u said my name.. hah! a lie.. tt was. how could i haf been tt stupid?

i'm sorry ellie..i was late n i didnt even meet u. my silly battery died on me.. perfect timing..

now i haf to write a compo.. readers digest. it doesnt seem to get me excited at all. my world's a blurr.. nothin is clear. all my frens r lying..well not all.. backstabbing, deceiving.. bad mouthing, u noe it. they do it.. right now all the ppl i love r.. xue ying..victoria lim.. hin wen..valerie(mallory).. joyce.. ASH..

wow, as i'm blogging this.. someone just lied to me. my close fren.. deception.. lies.. illusions.. y cant my life b clear? y???!!! ugh. i told cha this would b shity. don't like it? don't read it. BYE